Drive By Read online

We sit in silence for a bit. I stare past the fence into the park, at all the kids running about, chasing balls, playing cricket. I stare at the heat haze, shimmering above the grass. I’m too hot. My mouth feels dry and my face feels like it’s starting to melt.

  ‘I need to cool off,’ I say. ‘Anyone else coming to the shop?’

  The other three nod their heads. We all get up slowly from the seventeenth hole and pick up our water guns. My shorts and T-shirt stick to my body as I walk over to the fence and grab my bike.

  A minute later, we’re cruising along the streets, back towards the parade of shops at the top of Jake’s road. The smell of melting tarmac fills the air. We cycle past some young kids playing football in the street, kicking their ball against people’s walls. I smile as their ball smacks into the side of a parked car. If the Poisoned Dwarf saw them doing that she’d have a fit. She’d have something to say about it, that’s for sure. She’d knife their ball, like she did Drac’s.

  We turn left at the end of the street, on to the main road. I cycle in front, one handed, my other hand clutching my water gun. Cars flash by us. A couple of them honk their horns cos we’re riding in the road instead of in the cycle lane. Behind me, I hear a car stereo. The road shakes with each boom of the bass drum. The car cruises past us, windows open. It’s a black car with lowered suspension, darkened windows and all that kind of rubbish. There are two blokes in there: a white guy with a shaved head, driving, and a black guy with dreads sitting next to him, smoking. As the car passes, I get a waft of the bitter smell of spliff.

  We cut out the traffic lights at the top of the main road by nipping through a gap in the traffic and going up on to the wide pavement on the other side of the road. From the pavement, I can see the parade of shops up ahead. I try and work out how much money I have in my pocket and how much I’ll be able to afford. Should be enough for a can of drink and an ice cream, I reckon, which will do the trick nicely.

  As we get closer though, I see something which takes my mind off drinks and ice creams. One of the cars parked on the double yellow lines outside the shop is the silver car. The one we hit with the football the other day. The Poisoned Dwarf’s car. And what’s more, she’s sitting in the passenger seat with the window wide open, looking hot and bothered. I put my feet down and stop my bike. The others stop beside me.

  ‘What you doing?’ Jake says.

  I smile at him. ‘I’ve just had an idea,’ I say. I point over at the Poisoned Dwarf’s car. ‘You see who it is?’

  They all narrow their eyes and stare, not sure what they’re looking at. All except Jake, who smiles as soon as he sees her.

  ‘It’s the old bag that knifed Drac’s ball. The Poisoned Dwarf,’ he says. ‘Ah. Perfect. We have to get our own back on her.’

  Drac nods his head. ‘Too right.’

  We all look at each other and smile. I raise my water pistol ever so slightly. Jake and Drac nod their heads, like they’re thinking the same thing.

  ‘What if someone sees?’ Badger says. ‘We’ll get in trouble.’

  ‘We’re not gonna do anything illegal,’ I say. ‘We’re just gonna cool her off a little.’

  ‘Besides, she’s not gonna know who did it,’ Jake says, ‘cos by the time she realises what’s happened, we’ll be long gone.’

  Jake pumps his water gun up. Me and the others do the same. Then we start pedalling really slow, really casual, holding our guns in one hand, keeping our handlebars straight with the other. She doesn’t look at us as we approach because she’s too busy scowling across at the other side of the road where the new supermarket is being built.

  When I’m level with the car window, I stop, put my feet on the ground, hold my water gun with both hands, take aim and fire. I hit the Poisoned Dwarf in the back of the head. She jumps in her seat and screams in terror. The others catch up and they do the same. They get her full in the face. We shoot for a second or two till she’s completely soaked.

  We ditch the idea of going to the shop and pedal away from the Poisoned Dwarf as fast as we can. It’s only when we’re out of sight of her car that we slow a little. We’ll go around the block or whatever, give her time to drive off. We grin like idiots as we pedal.

  ‘That was brilliant,’ Jake says. ‘That was without doubt the most satisfying moment of my entire life.’

  Drac nods. ‘That’ll teach that witch to mess with my football!’

  We cycle to Jake’s house because it’s the closest.

  ‘We should get rid of the water pistols,’ he says, ‘just in case she sees us holding them.’

  We leave our bikes in the front garden and go round to the back, chuck the water pistols in the garden and then get back on our bikes. We head in the direction of the shops. But as I reach the end of the road and look over at the shops, I see something that makes me stop dead. The Poisoned Dwarf’s car is still parked in exactly the same spot, and kneeling on the pavement, leaning into the car, is one of those volunteer police officer people. He looks like he’s talking to the Poisoned Dwarf – probably getting our descriptions. Her husband stands by the open passenger door, running his hands through his comb-over, looking worried.

  ‘Jesus,’ I say. ‘Let’s get out of here. Quick.’

  We turn our bikes around right away and pedal like crazy back down the road, back to Jake’s house.

  ‘Take the bikes round into the back garden,’ Jake says as he jumps off his bike.

  We leave our bikes at the back of the house and then silently walk round to the front door and wait for Jake to open up. There are no smart comments. No taking the mickey. No laughing. Nothing. All I can hear are the sounds of the trains rumbling along on the tracks nearby, the cars on the main road, a siren, kids playing somewhere in the distance.

  We all go inside the house, into the dark, shady hallway and then through to the lounge. We slump into the sofas. The leather feels cool against my clammy skin.

  ‘Do you think she was giving the police officer our descriptions?’ I say.

  The others shrug.

  ‘She must have been,’ I say. ‘Why else would she have been talking to a policeman?’

  ‘That wasn’t a policeman,’ Jake says. ‘That was one of those community support people. A plastic policeman. They don’t have any more powers than you or me. He was probably lending her his hankie to dry her face or something.’

  I nod, but I still think we might be in trouble.

  ‘Do you think she saw us properly?’ Badger says. ‘Do you reckon she’d be able to describe us to the police?’

  I try to play back in my head the bit when I aimed my water pistol at her and fired, to work out whether she looked at me or not. But I can’t remember it clearly. It’s all a blur.

  Jake shakes his head. ‘No way she saw us properly,’ he says. ‘It was all over in about two seconds. She didn’t have time to see us.’

  ‘But she turned round,’ Badger says. ‘She must have seen us. She’s not blind.’

  Drac shrugs. ‘As soon as she turned round, we got her right in the face. She would have had, like, a millisecond at the most before we got her. Besides, she doesn’t know who we are. Relax, will you.’

  ‘She knows who me and Jake are,’ I say. ‘We live on the roads next to hers. She sees me almost every day of the year when I walk to school. And she watched all of us the other day when we set her car alarm off.’

  ‘Who cares if she saw us,’ Jake says. ‘What’s she gonna do? Get us in trouble with the cops? For what? Using a water pistol? A drive-by soaking!’

  Drac nods his head. He straightens up in the sofa. ‘Jake’s right, man. It’s not illegal to use a water pistol, is it?’

  I shrug. I guess he’s right. All we need to do is stay out of the way for a bit, make sure the policeman doesn’t see us.

  It’s silent for a while, till Jake stands up. ‘Anyone want a drink?’

  We all murmur that we do and he comes back a minute later and hands glasses of squash to everyone.

  O
utside, I hear a siren. You hear sirens round here all the time, day and night. But all of a sudden I feel paranoid. What if this one’s for us? For me – it was my stupid idea to soak her. What if the Poisoned Dwarf has grassed us up to the community support officer and the police are heading here this second to come and get us? The seconds tick slowly past and the siren sounds like it’s getting closer and closer, heading this way. The thought strikes me that if the siren is coming for us, we should hide. Maybe we should get rid of the water pistols too. I wonder whether I should say something to the others, warn them. But I don’t. They’d probably think I’m stupid.

  They’re all silent. They all look like they’re doing the same as me: listening to the siren, waiting for the police to skid to a halt in front of Jake’s house, making up excuses in their minds, wondering what their parents will say when they have to come down to the police station to bail them out. The siren keeps on and on, getting closer and louder, so loud that it sounds like it must be on our road. Then it stops.

  We all look at each other. No one says a word. I go over to the bay window and nervously look up and down the road. I can’t see a police car. Maybe it was going somewhere else. Maybe I was being paranoid. Why would the police come after us for using water pistols? They have way more important things to do with their time.

  ‘The look on her face was funny though, wasn’t it?’ Jake says.

  We all laugh quietly as we remember it.

  ‘She deserved it too,’ Drac says.

  Jake nods his head. ‘Too right she did. If she’d done that to my football, I’d have used bullets instead of water.’

  I laugh.

  Jake goes over to the TV cabinet, switches the games console and the TV on and grabs the controllers.

  ‘Right, then,’ he says. ‘Who wants their backside kicked at football first?’

  Before anyone else can answer, I get up and grab a controller from him.

  ‘Prepare to lose, ginger nuts,’ Jake says to me.

  Summer

  I turn the page, to the last chapter of the book. Not Dad’s copy, but my own. A while back, I realised that if I kept reading Dad’s, I was gonna wear it out – the cover is already starting to come away from the binding.

  As I start reading, Petal raises her head and her ears kind of prick up. A couple of seconds later, the phone starts to ring. She always does that – reacts to something before it’s even happened – like she’s psychic. It used to freak me out, but I think it must be something to do with the way cats hear.

  I think about whether I can be bothered to get up and answer the phone for a second. I should. Mum gets peed off if I don’t answer the phone for her when she’s at work. But then maybe she should get an answerphone service like the rest of the twenty-first century.

  I decide to ignore the phone and carry on reading instead. After a minute or so the phone stops ringing, then almost immediately my mobile starts to ring. I mark my page with a bookmark and pick it up. It’s Mum calling.

  ‘Hello, Mum.’

  ‘Summer,’ Mum says. ‘Are you at home? I’ve just tried the home phone.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I say through a sigh. ‘I know. Sorry.’

  ‘Why didn’t you pick up?’

  ‘I didn’t get to the phone in time.’

  Mum doesn’t say anything right away. She takes a breath. ‘I’ve got some bad news, I’m afraid,’ she says. ‘Your nan’s gone into hospital.’

  My mouth opens to say something, but all that comes out is ‘Oh’.

  ‘I’m going to go to the hospital, so I’ll be home late tonight. Can you get yourself some tea,’ Mum says. ‘I’ll get myself something when I come back.’

  ‘Right,’ I say. I feel shell-shocked. ‘Can’t I come too?’

  There’s a pause at the other end of the line. ‘Not right now. I don’t think she can have visitors at the moment.’

  I think about asking why Mum’s allowed to go in then, but I don’t say anything.

  ‘Maybe we can go in and visit her tomorrow,’ Mum says. ‘If she’s up to it.’

  I sigh. ‘What’s happened? Why’s she in hospital?’

  There’s another pause. ‘I don’t really know yet. Harry just phoned to let me know.’

  I tut. I hate it when Mum calls Grandad Harry. He’s not Harry, he’s Grandad.

  ‘He didn’t say much,’ Mum goes on. ‘He was in a bit of a state. He wasn’t really thinking straight. I’ll phone you when I know anything, OK?’

  ‘Yeah, all right,’ I say. But I don’t feel OK.

  I hear Mum sigh. ‘Don’t worry about her, Summer, love. You know your nan – she’s as tough as old boots. She’ll be fine.’

  ‘Right,’ I say. I feel like I want to cry.

  ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can,’ Mum says. ‘Love you.’

  ‘Love you.’

  And the phone goes dead. I put my phone down and lie on my bed, stare at the ceiling.

  Mum didn’t call back. I’ve spent most of the time since she rang thinking about what might have happened to Nan. It’s not the first time she’s been in hospital. She’s been in with her hips and her knees and her heart and her breathing. Grandad says she’s on so many pills that she rattles when she walks. He’s right – whenever I’ve seen her take her pills, she lines them up and there must be about ten of them. All different sizes and different colours.

  When I finally hear Mum’s key in the lock, I’m sitting on the sofa, watching TV. I switch it off as she comes into the lounge. She comes straight over to the sofa and sits down. She puts her arms round me and gives me a hug. I hug her back and try to stop myself from crying. But I can smell the hospital – the disinfectant smell – on Mum’s clothes, and that makes me think of Nan. Against my will, tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. After a while Mum pulls away from the hug and looks at me, her hands on my arms.

  ‘Hey, don’t cry, Summer,’ Mum says. ‘It’s OK.’

  She wipes a tear away from my eye with her fingers.

  ‘Is Nan all right?’ I say, sniffing away the tears. ‘Is she gonna be OK?’

  Mum nods. ‘She’s all right. I told you, she’s as tough as old boots.’

  I wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my top. Mum looks in her handbag and takes out a tissue. She hands it to me.

  ‘What’s the matter with her?’

  Mum sighs. ‘She’s had a heart attack.’

  I start crying again.

  And Mum’s face folds, as though she’s going to cry too. ‘She’s all right now though. The doctors say she’s stable,’ she says. ‘She’s just very weak. We’ll know more in the morning. They seem to think she’ll recover OK.’

  ‘Is Grandad all right?’

  Mum nods. ‘A bit shaken up, but he’s fine. I took him home and got him some food.’

  ‘Can I see Nan?’

  Mum makes a face like she isn’t sure. ‘We’ll see in the morning,’ she says. ‘I’m going to take the day off tomorrow. If your nan’s up to it then of course you can.’

  Mum’s been up for ages, since seven at least. I heard her moving around, making breakfast, making phone calls. I’m still in bed though.

  There’s a knock on my door. I sit up in bed and look at the clock. 9.43 a.m. I get a feeling of foreboding, like Mum’s come to tell me something happened to Nan in the night.

  ‘Come in,’ I say quietly.

  Mum pops her head round the door. She smiles. That must be a good sign.

  ‘Morning, Summer,’ she says. ‘I brought you a cup of tea.’

  I smile at her.

  She puts the tea on my bedside table and plonks herself down on my bed. ‘How are you?’

  I ruffle my hair and yawn. I feel pretty awful. I have a knot in my stomach and a headache. But Mum doesn’t need to know that.

  ‘OK, I think,’ I say. ‘How about you?’

  Mum smiles again. ‘I’m all right,’ she says. There’s a pause. The smile goes from Mum’s face. ‘I called the hospital just now. They sa
id that your nan’s doing well. She should be up to having visitors later on today.’

  I smile. The knot in my stomach loosens a little. ‘Oh,’ I say, because I can’t think of what else to say. ‘That’s good.’

  ‘I’m just going over to your grandad’s now to make sure he’s all right,’ Mum says. ‘I’ll come over this way later if you want and pick you up to go to the hospital.’

  I nod.

  ‘OK, then.’

  Mum plants a kiss on top of my head.

  Johnny

  I stretch my arms and look at the clock. It’s after nine. I think about turning over and going back to sleep, but I can’t – I have to be at footy training by ten. I climb out of bed, grab my dressing gown and leave my room. After taking a leak, I go downstairs into the lounge, where my little brother, Mikey, is lying across the sofa, watching TV.

  ‘Shift up,’ I say.

  Mikey slowly turns his attention away from the TV and looks at me. He raises an eyebrow and lifts his right hand, middle finger raised.

  ‘Don’t be an idiot,’ I say. ‘Shift your backside.’

  Mikey stays sprawled across the sofa. ‘Go and find somewhere else to sit,’ he says. ‘I was here first.’

  I take a deep breath, coolly run through my options before I do something that we’ll both regret. I could always rise above it all, go through to the kitchen and get myself some breakfast. I could be the mature one here and ignore Mikey’s childish behaviour. I could even let him have the upper hand and go and sit on another seat, like he said. But, let’s face it, none of those things is gonna happen. Instead I shrug my shoulders.

  ‘You’ve got five seconds to shift your scrawny, unwashed backside,’ I say. ‘Five . . . four . . . three . . .’

  Mikey stays where he is, ignoring me.

  ‘Two . . . one . . . zero . . .’ I sigh. ‘You asked for it!’

  I sit down hard right on top of Mikey’s legs. And as I sit, I squeeze one out.

  ‘Ow!’ Mikey squeals. ‘Jesus. You freak.’

  ‘I warned you,’ I say.

  Mikey pulls his legs from underneath me. He adjusts himself on the sofa, so he’s sitting instead of lying. All of a sudden his face folds into a look of absolute disgust. ‘Oh God,’ he says, holding his nose. ‘Did you fart on me?’